There are many factors that contribute to a successful relationship however one of the most important is communication. Even the healthiest of relationships are not immune to a fight here and there, but what makes a great couple is their ability to sort out issues and disagreements maturely and come out even stronger. Here are some tips to improve how you and your partner approach conflict.
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- Don’t try to solve an argument/disagreement over the phone.
It’s easy to misread someone’s words when you can’t see their face or hear the tone of their voice. A sentence can so easily be misconstrued and blow up what may have started as a minor issue, into something monumental. Even speaking over the phone isn’t as good as in person because it is possible for the person on the other end of the phone to hang up randomly to avoid the conversation. Therefore, it is best to be in the room, face to face with your partner when having an important conversation.
2. Don’t ignore or avoid an issue
Sometimes to avoid confrontation, it is simple for us to tell ourselves “it’s fine, it’s really not worth starting an argument over.” However, sweeping things under the rug leads to resentment and can ultimately lead to the original issue building up more and more. When you’re with the right person, you should feel comfortable talking to them about anything. Therefore, bringing up a problem you have shouldn’t feel difficult. If they’re a good match, they should be willing to work with you on that issue.
3. Take turns listening to each other.
It is just as important to hear your partner’s side as it is to express your own. Explain your feelings as openly and honestly as you can and then let them do the same. Make sure to take the time to listen without interrupting them to show to them that you care about their feelings and about resolving the issue in a fair way.
4. Use productive language.
Talking will get you nowhere if you’re not using productive language. When expressing your feelings, try not to sound accusatory. This includes using “I language” instead of “You language” when dealing with conflict. Speaking with “You language” may make your partner feel like you are putting blame on them and putting emphasis on what they are doing wrong. Using “I language” implies taking responsibility for your own actions as well.
All relationships are two-way streets so it is crucial to treat them as such. By taking the time to communicate effectively and respectfully, your relationship will only be solidified and prove that you and your partner can conquer the obstacles you face in a healthy, mature way.