Anyone in the midst of the NYC dating scene knows that first impressions aren’t always accurate. I’m all for giving people a real chance before you sum them up. However, experience tells me that there are a few telltale signs that a pair’s first date will (or should!) be their last.
Keep an eye out for these 4 red flags:
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Big Gaps in Conversation
A few awkward silences are perfectly normal during a first date – you’re feeling each other out for the very first time. The real issue is if these silences are long and persistent. If every single attempt at conversation results in a dead end, your date’s manner of speaking or thinking may be too contradictory to your own. Time to call it a night!
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Unexpected Visitors
Believe it or not, it is fairly common for people to arrange to meet up with friends while on a date, or even bring someone along with them. This is almost always a bad sign. It indicates that your date wanted a “Plan B” in case you didn’t meet their expectations. Even on a first date, a person should be willing to engage 1-on-1 the entire time. If an “unexpected visitor” shows up, feel free to make your exit.
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Questions, Questions, Questions
I know what you are thinking. What’s wrong with questions? Aren’t they an important part of initiating a conversation? You’re absolutely right. A few thoughtful questions certainly make for livelier, more engaging discussion. The real problem is when your date asks you a laundry list of questions, such that the conversation feels one-sided.
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Past Relationships Come Into View
If your date refers to a recent bad date, fling, or ex, you may want to get the check! If a person cannot focus on the present for the length of a single date, it is likely the past relationship they’re bringing up will become a common theme. You will not want to invest in a person who is still working on closure from a past romantic situation.
Better yet: stop wasting time and emotional energy, and let a professional handle the preliminaries. By using a professional matchmaker, you can ensure you are only meeting people with whom you are fundamentally compatible. Contact me today to discuss what you are looking for, and how I can provide a path to a meaningful, long-term relationship.